Upgrade mode

A guy friend once told me that the single New York City male is always in "Upgrade Mode". I asked him, "what on earth is Upgrade Mode"? What I found out will crush the hopes of anyone from the single NYC female persuasion of ever landing a relationship.

1) The single NYC male (SNYCM) will date as many women as possible. Depending on their place on the totem pole*, they can date anywhere between 2 and 10 women at a time. However, variations have been seen upwards of 20 women. OUCH!

2) The SNYCM will unfailingly require that the women he dates are at least 2 notches better looking than he, on a 10 point scale.

3) The SNYCM does not care what you do for a living. So don't think your fancy law degree will get you anywhere. To the SNYCM you're at the same starting line as the clerk who works at the Gap.

4) The SNYCM may narrow down his dating pool from time to time to just a few lucky females. However, he will at all times be looking to improve, or upgrade if you will, his harem.

5) The SNYCM will remain in single status until, on average, he is 42 years old, when at that point, he will decide that it is time to 'settle down'.

What's a Girl to do?
So I asked my friend, "What's a girl to do? - I mean, with this kind of situation, I'm never gonna find a man" The advice I received was even more appalling than the offending comment!

He said to buck-up, go out and deal with it. Thanks.

So here's my take on "Upgrade Mode".

1) Yes, every guy looks around. But once they find a girl they find attractive, they're going to hedge. Only the complete slimeballs will unabashedly sleep around.

2) I agree on the looks comment - Take a walk down say, 3rd avenue one day, you'll see hot women with not-so-hot men.

3) I'd say 85% of the SNYCM care that you are not a complete box of rocks. Do you even want to go there with the insecure remainder?

4) See comment #1

5) I just do not have enough data points here. However, it is increasingly apparent to me that all of my friends who live outside NYC are married, while all of my friends inside NYC are not. Coincidence? All I have to say is be aware of your situation and be prepared to get out if necessary!


* Totem pole: The looks-wealth multiplier. In NYC, wealth is weighted 2-1 over looks; the higher the multiplier, the higher on the totem pole the male will be.